Scary End to My Road Trip

I decided to drive myself home this past Wednesday from my 2 1/2 week road trip to AZ and UT. I was going to wait until I felt totally better, but that was not happening and I really didn't want to miss my appointment with my plastic surgeon on Thursday. It is a 12 hour trip home from my sister's house (really mansion) in Utah if you do not stop at all.  So add in some stops and it makes for an incredibly long day of driving.  My sister and mom did NOT want me to drive myself home.  They did not think I was ready.  They wanted to drive me home.  But, to be honest I was starting to feel guilty about all the service and sacrifice on my behalf.  I convinced myself that I felt good enough and that I could to it.

So Wednesday morning I was on the road by 8:30 am Utah time (7:30 my time).   I was a good girl and stopped driving to walk around every 2 hours (doctors orders..no more blood clots).  Things went well, I was having very little pain that day (unusual) and my kids were being as good as can be expected when stuck in a car all day.  Around Hood River, Oregon (about 1 1/2 hours from home) I started getting really tired.  So we stopped got some gas, sugar, and caffeine.  The three essentials on a long road trip.  I walked around with the kids for a little bit to stretch my very tired and stiff legs.  I had some HORRIBLE leg cramps the night before (side affect of Gleevec) and the aftermath (stiff and sore legs) stuck around all day on my road trip.  I was SO SICK of driving, but was SO CLOSE to home that we kept on going.

When my navigation said we had 45 minutes left we hit AWFUL traffic on the 205.  I wanted  to cry.  I couldn't do it anymore.  I was sick of being tough.  We were stuck in traffic for about 30 minutes (an eternity after so many hours in the car and being so close to home).  They were taking three lanes of freeway down to one lane.....it was super lame. It was now about 10 PM.  I wanted to be home.  I had been on the road 14 1/2 hours. Anyways, after we passed the major construction project and the traffic disappeared  I started feeling SUPER WEIRD. 

I felt like I was going to faint

My heart was racing and I felt like my heart was up in my throat

I felt like I couldn't catch my breath

I felt like my windpipe was closing

It felt a LOT like I was having a pulmonary embolism again.

Something was WRONG...really wrong

The next exit was for Salmon Creek and the hospital was 3 minutes away.   I decided I needed to drive myself to the emergency room.  I told my kiddos in a super calm voice that mommy felt sick and was driving to the hospital to have the doctors check me out.  They started crying....I talked to them to calm them down (really was just trying to keep myself calm).  I voxered my husband to tell him that I was driving myself to the emergency department.  Apparently, I did not tell him what hospital, but that didn't matter, he just used his stalker app to find me.  He also used his stalker app to find his sister.  Miracle...she happened to be about 5 minutes away at this moment.  She headed to the hospital to rescue my kids.  I said a little prayer that I would make it to the hospital and my kids would be safe.  We made it, I walked in....they rushed me back to the triage nurse.  I knew something was wrong when she tried to take my pulse in a few locations.  She looked at me, said my pulse was 168 and that they were taking me to a room immediately.  So my scared little kids followed me in the wheelchair to my room.

As soon as I was in the room a team of nurses changed me into a hospital gown and started putting ECG stickers all over my body and asking me a million questions.  They gave me oxygen, took blood, put in an IV.  Somewhere during all the choas my sister in law Kim showed up to watch my kids.  Thank goodness....it was too scary for them.  The doctor came in, looked at the ECG and pulled a nurse aside and quietly talked to her.  He then told me that my ECG showed that I had Supraventricular tachycardia (SVT).
How SVT happens:
Electrical signals in the heart's upper chambers fire abnormally, which interferes with electrical signals coming from the sinoatrial (SA) node --- the heart's natural pacemaker. A series of early beats in the atria speeds up the heart rate. The rapid heartbeat does not allow enough time for the heart to fill before it contracts so blood flow to the rest of the body is compromised.

He said that is fancy talk for sudden onset of fast heart beating.  I asked him if a blood clot could be causing this and he said that it was possible, especially considering my history.  BUT, he wanted to treat the heart rate problem first.  He said they were going to give me a medicine called adenosine.  He said it was going to hopefully shock my heart into slowing down.  He said it was going to feel like my heart was stopping and/or someone was standing on my chest.  He then told me they were also prepping me  in case they needed to shock my heart into starting again with the defibrillator.  This is when I got a little scared.  My husband wasn't here yet and they just told me it was a possibility that my heart would stop.  I said a little prayer that I would not die....it was pretty surreal.  I also kept thinking my mom and sister were going to kill me if my heart didn't kill me first!!!!  OH MY... Why do crappy things like this keep happening?
Anyways, they gave me the medicine through my IV and HOLY COW!!!  I have never experienced something like that before.  It really did feel like I was dying....heart stopping, couldn't breathe....so CRAZY.  Anyways, those symptoms only lasted a few seconds and my heart rate shot immediately down.  Thank goodness.  Corey showed up a little after all the excitement was over.  The doctor came in to tell me my potassium was low (no surprise - I have battled this forever) and that it could have contributed to this episode.   They then gave me two potassium pills (they are the BIGGEST pills ever...I hate them...) and potassium through my IV to dose me up.  Corey had Kim take our kids to her house (it was 11:30 pm and we had NO idea how long we were going to be at the hospital). I then had a chest x-ray and a chest CT scan to check for a pulmonary embolism.  4 hours after arriving the doctor came back and said I did not have any clots and I was going to be able to go home soon.   Oh THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!  I did NOT want to deal with the clot problem all over again.
He told me to follow up with my doctor in the am and get a blood test in 2 days to check on my potassium level.  So I called my oncologist (I really feel like he is my primary care physician right now) and he was not happy.  He prescribed daily potassium again (I had stopped for awhile) and ordered more blood work and an appointment to see him in a few days.

So, it was a crazy night.  By the time I got home I felt AWFUL.  I felt like I had been hit by a truck.  I could barely walk (both of my calves were insanely stiff and sore...doctor said that was due to the low potassium) and felt so wiped out.  We got home at 3 am and I only got to sleep a few hours because I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon in the morning.
 I was NOT going to miss that no matter how horrible I felt.
Corey drove me to my appointment and my plastic surgeon couldn't believe what happened.  We also told her about Corey taking the drain out.  I thought she would be mad....she was not mad at all.  She thought it was great that my hubby helped me out like that.  She was so understanding.  Anyways, she asked if I was still up for my first saline fill.......OF COURSE I WAS!  I wanted to get that started.  It couldn't make me feel any worse than I already did.  She showed Corey how to find the right place to stick the needle using this magnetic thingy.  She then stuck the needle in and had Corey push all the saline in with a syringe.  I keep thinking...WOW, so many men's dream to pump up their wives breast.........  She told Corey that next week she would have him do it and if it goes well then Corey can do all the fills at home and I will not have to drive to Portland every week.  Kinda cool and a little scary :)

So here I am slowing recovering from this ordeal.  I spent most of the next 4 days in bed.  Here I am 5 days later and my calves FINALLY are feeling better.  I am slowly getting some energy back.  I have some pretty significant pain in my chest that is driving me crazy.  My plastic surgeon gave me Valium to take at night to help relax me and help me deal with the pain and uncomfortableness of stretching my skin and muscles.  I took it last Thursday night and oh man I HATE Valium.  I got no sleep and was miserable all night.  I called her office in the morning and told them the scoop and they prescribed some pain meds instead.   The pain meds are not taking the pain away though.  They are helping me deal with it a little better though.    The pain is worst when I go from sitting to standing.  I have to pause for a little bit and catch my breath.  It also hurts worse when I am laying down.  It is only on the far left side (closest to my left breast) that hurts though....It has hurt there for a few weeks now (started before the 1st fill).
Anyways, if this pain keeps up I might end up with very small breasts.  Not sure how long I can endure this...

Surgery #15

On June 18th I had my 1st breast reconstruction surgery.  This was my 15th surgery....I am a pro.  Here is the best explanation I could find to describe my Latissimus Dorsal Flap surgery: "Skin, tissue, and muscle will be moved from the upper back to the mastectomy area through a tunnel created by the surgeon under your skin.  Then a tissue expander will be placed under the flap."

PRETTY CRAZY STUFF!

 We had to wait FOREVER to be taken back for surgery prep......here I am trying to be patient.  

I was SO SO SO SO HUNGRY!!!!!!

 Here is a nice close-up of my scrubbed face ready and waiting for surgery.

I have NEVER been to a hospital so concerned about making sure I was SUPER clean before surgery.  I had to use a special soap at home when I took my morning shower AND they had me scrub my whole body down before I put my hospital gown on.  I have NEVER done either one of those things in my past surgeries.

 Here I am resting after surgery.  The first 12 hours after surgery are a TOTAL blur for me.  I do NOT remember a thing.

 I am AWAKE!!

 As far as hospital food goes, it was pretty delicious.  The best part is you picked whatever you wanted off the menu and called it in whenever you wanted.  I will admit I had cheesecake at EVERY meal.  

 This was my pain ball.  It was my friend.  They had a tube inserted into my back and it continuously released pain medication straight to the source of my pain.  My doctor even had them fill it up before I went home.   I spent two nights in the hospital.  At home, when it was empty Corey pulled the tube out.  I had ZERO pain in my back until about 24 hours after the pain ball meds ran out.  It was awesome.

I had three drains post-surgery.   One for my back and two for my chest.  This is a picture of the drains.  This picture was before the drains started having some serious nasty clots, tissue, & heaven knows what draining out of me.  They would get clogged  (and it would hurt so bad when they did) and Corey would help me try to unclog them.  I had to empty them and chart how much was draining out of me each day.  It was kinda gross....it takes A LOT to gross me out.  At my one week post-op they took the back drain out.  At my 2 week post-op they took the 2nd drain out.  By this time the drains were DRIVING ME CRAZY.  I was so dosed up on pain meds for the first 2 weeks that the drains didn't bother me too much.  But, by week 2 I was weaning myself off the pain meds and the one remaining drain started to drive me crazy.  I couldn't get comfortable.  It really started hurting.  By the end of the week it hurt so much that I would just lay in bed and try not to move at all.  If I moved even a little I would have terrible pain at my drain site.  I went back on my pain pills for this.  My huge nasty surgery scars didn't really hurt that much anymore...it was that stupid last drain.  I was up most of the night Saturday crying and wondering why I was so miserable.  The next day I was desperate that I had my husband cut the stitches and pull out the drain.  As SOON as he took it out the pain subsided.  Oh relief....my husband saved me.  

Here is a picture of my fresh new back scar.  I thought about taking a picture of my chest too, but I figured that was a little too much information.   The front scar looks like Frankenstein (see illustration below).  The back scar actually extends all the way under my arm and connects with my chest scars.  It is pretty ugly.

The first month after my surgery I had not much of an appetite.  I basically lived off fruit and smoothies.  Before my surgery I had worked hard to lose my chemo weight and I DID!!  After my surgery, due to my low appetite I lost about 10 more pounds.

It has been 5 1/2 weeks since my surgery and I still feel like I am not fully recovered.  I thought for sure I would feel great after about 3 weeks....BOY I WAS WRONG.  BUT, I had a little set back a few days ago that is contributing to my slow recovery....I will explain in another blog post.

Award Winning Black Bean Salsa

Here is the award winning salsa recipe.  Yes, I won a contest for best recipe at a church party.  

I know, I am amazing...ha...ha - don't be jealous....

It is actually quite delicious & one of my favorite things to put on tacos, tostadas, taco salads, enchiladas, etc.  or just with some good ole tortilla chips. 

Black Bean Salsa

1 - 15 oz can Black Beans                         

3 Roma tomatoes                                               

½ cup chopped green onions                 

1 jalapeno, minced                                   

2 large cloves garlic, minced                  

1-2 avocados – chopped

Handful of cilantro – finely chopped

1/8 tsp cumin

½ tsp salt

1 lime for juice

2 tsp. olive oil

black pepper – to taste

Rinse & drain the black beans.  Mix all ingredients together.  This is what I call a “dump” recipe.  You can modify any of the ingredients up or down to account for your own taste buds.  Serve with tortilla chips.

CT Brings Great News

The results from my CT scan on Monday are in. 

 I discussed them with my oncologist yesterday and here is a summary.

• There are no signs of pulmonary embolism.  The blood clots in my lungs are GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   My doctor told me to quit taking my blood thinners and to wait a few days and then start my Gleevec.  This of course means I called first thing this morning to schedule my first breast reconstruction surgery....I am anxiously waiting for a call back.  I am a planner...want to start planning.
• I have some cyst like space-occupying lesions in my armpit area.  They are most likely post-surgical seromas.  These fluid containing structures are very common after a mastectomy.  
•  Stable slightly irregular cyst like lesion in the left lobe of the liver....I have had this one for a few years.
• A little bit of scarring in the lungs with a very slight amount of volume loss.  This is also common after a pulmonary embolism
• Small nodule or nodules in right lobe of the thyroid gland. They found these a few years ago.  I had an ultrasound & they think they are cysts.
• I asked him about the irregularity in my ribs from the PET scan and x-ray.  He told me that they see nothing on the CT.  This is great news....now I can relax a little :)

So overall, wonderful news.  It appears that I am 

CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I continue to heal and I am slowly getting my strength back.  Having really awful arthritis and scoliosis is making my recovery more difficult.  But, I have been walking every night (even when I am really tired and/or in pain) and have GREATLY reduced my food intake.  I gained about 25 pounds on chemotherapy...ya I know, kind of weird.  Most people lose weight.  not me, I always try to be different.  Anyways, I have lost 10 pounds so far....kind of proud of myself.  

BUT, I feel blessed that I get to have a recovery.  Cancer is a NASTY thing that takes people's lives every day.  It took me to some dark places, but I am here and I am a stronger person because of it.

Small & Perky...Yes, Please

*******WARNING.....I talk A LOT about boobs in this post :)

Almost one month ago I went to consult with a plastic surgeon at OHSU about reconstructive surgery post mastectomy.  First of all, I must say she was AMAZING.  I totally LOVED her.  She was honest, funny, bubbly, caring, and confident.  She TOTALLY reminded me of Mindy on the Mindy Project (a super hilarious show...seriously, you should watch it).  She asked what I wanted and I said, "What are the possibilities?".  She said, 'Whatever you want."  So I then changed my answer to, "WAY, WAY smaller AND PERKY...no more old lady boobs!!!!!"
After learning all the options and basics of breast reconstruction she basically flat out told me what she thought was the best option for me & my body......I 100% agreed with her.  
She told me I did NOT have enough fat on my belly to do the tummy tuck, make a breast surgery.  Not enough fat???.....silly girl.  She also said my previous surgeries on my abdomen made it not an option.  BUMMER.....would have been nice to have a super flat stomach once again (it has been a long time).  But, actually I think this was good news.  The surgery is an 8 hour surgery AND the recovery is extremely painful and LONG (you are in the hospital for 7-10  days!!).
She also told me she does NOT want to do surgery until I am OFF my anti-coagulants (blood-thinners).   There is just too much risk for bleeding with the surgery and the expander. It will be 6 months since my pulmonary embolism the first week of July.  So that means I could have my surgery sometime in July IF my oncologist lets me stop taking my blood thinners.  I wish I could have it today!!!!!!!!!!!
So without doing a CRAZY long post (not in the mood today).....here is the plan.

SURGERY #1:  Latissimus Flap and Tissue Expander (right side)

• A section of muscle, skin and tissue are removed from the mid-upper back (right above the bra line....this is called the latissimus flap) and transplanted (along with its blood supply) to the chest area.
• Blood vessels from the donor tissue are tunneled under the skin, and the tissues are then shaped to form a new breast mound on the chest.
• A tissue expander will be placed under my skin and muscle.  The tissue expander is like a deflated balloon that you can slowly add saline to over-time to stretch your skin & tissue out.  
• The surgery will take about 4 hours.  I will be in the hospital 1-3 nights.  The recovery is anywhere between 3-6 weeks.  She said this first surgery will be the biggest and most painful of them all with the longest recovery.  
• I will need to go into the plastic surgeons office every week to get my expander "pumped up".  They will inject a little saline into the expander each time.  You keep doing this each week until you reach the desired size.  She told me since I live one hour away from her office that she will teach my husband how to pump up my breasts.......sounds pretty nasty, huh???  :)...every man's dream come true.

WAIT/RECOVER...Keep on Pumping Up Those Breasts for 2-3 months......then

SURGERY #2:  Change to Implant and Breast REDUCTION!!!!!!!!!!

• Once my right breast is at the desired size it will be time to do the surgery I CAN NOT WAIT for!!!!!!!
• They will REDUCE my ginormous left breast to match the size of my MUCH smaller right breast!!!! Woooooooo Hoooooooooo!!!!!!!  Happy day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• They will replace my expander on my right breast with an implant.
• It is a 2-3 hour surgery, with a one night stay in the hospital.  She said it is about a 1-2 week recovery.

WAIT/RECOVER for 2-4 months...then

SURGERY #3:  Make a Nipple:

• She said she can do this in her office as a simple out-patient procedure.
• Basically, they pinch the skin together where your nipple should be a sew it together.....ouch!!!

WAIT/RECOVER for 2 months...then

SURGERY #4:  Tattoo

•  Probably shouldn't call this a surgery...more like a little procedure.  I will get a tattoo to match the color of the nipple of the other breast and to create the areola on my new and improved right breast.

Soooo 6-12 months later I should have my FABULOUS, smaller, perky boobs...

This also means....

- I will no longer be The One Boob Wonder

- I will have a bra burning party.....I am seriously going to burn all my ridiculous H and I and J cupped bras

- I can shop for bras and swimsuits in NORMAL stores

- I can quit buying huge shirts just to fit my big boobs

- It will take a TON of strain off my crippled back

- I can go bra-less and not look like a freak of nature!!!

Some of my regular blog readers are probably wondering if I decided to go back on my Gleevec medication.  I have decided to go back on it.  I truly believe I need to be on it.  BUT, I am waiting until I am off my blood thinners before I start.  Gleevec is not a good drug to take with Coumadin (my blood thinners).  My doctor was going to have me do a CT scan in July after being on blood thinners for 6 months to see if my clots in my lungs were fully resolved.

BUT, after my oncologist talked to the GIST expert he decided that I should get a CT scan now and if the clots are gone I will go off blood thinners EARLY and start Gleevec.

This also means I can have my surgery EARLIER!!!!!!!   

So I have my CT scan tomorrow (Monday) morning.  So I am hoping that the scan will be clear and I can:

     - stop taking Coumadin

     - start taking Gleevec

     - call my surgeon & schedule my 1st reconstruction surgery...hopefully there are some openings in her surgery schedule that don't conflict with my obligation of being the key-note speaker at The Dalles Wahtonka High School's Graduation.....what was I thinking when I said yes???????  and will also allow me to go to my Granny's memorial/family get together at a resort in AZ in July (wait....AZ in July - what dummy planned this one?)

**** My echo cardiogram looked good....no real worries there.  But, I will have to get more frequent ones while I am on Gleevec

**** One last side note: I had a PET scan a few weeks ago to make sure there was no cancer in my body.  There was no cancer....they think.  There was an irregularity on one of my ribs, right below my shoulder bone on my back.  They did an x-ray to get a better look.  The irregularity was still there.  My oncologist told me he was not worried about it.  So I didn't worry until I read the reports myself and googled some of the terminology (dang you, google).  I found the same exact wording on my report to sometimes be associated with metastasized breast cancer AND sometimes multiple myeloma (my aunt died of this nasty one).  But, it also said that it could be nothing.  So, my doctor told me it is fine, but what if it is not.  My CT scan tomorrow should let me know one way or another on this little problem that has been in the back of my mind.  So if you want to say a prayer for me or send some good vibes, I would appreciate it. 

Peace out!

The One Boob Wonder

Yippee-Ki-Yay it is Berkeley's Birthday!

Here is the invitation I created for the birthday boy.   I had to put little boxes over my address and email to protect me from the creepers out there.


Yee-Haw....Berkeley's friends mosied on down to the Aldridge Ranch for a rip-roarin' birthday bonanza.

The horses had been rounded up into the corral

The Welcome Wagon had been set out

hats and bandannas awaited their new owners

games were ready

and the treats were waiting

 Berkeley's friends starting arriving and putting on their cowboy garb

Berkeley and his gang waiting for the rest of the gang to mosey on down

Happy Outlaw Berkeley

don't mess with Gunslinger Berkeley

Don't mess with Jake the Kid

Beware of Cow Stealing Carlie

Stay away from Claim Jumping Matthew

Don't mess with Switchback Spencer

Terrifying Jacob is on the loose!

Watch out of Round 'em Up Nathan

For some reason I did not get a wanted poster picture of Samantha and Josie....I am LAME.

 lining them up for some horse races

 giddy up!

Ride 'em cowboy!!!!!!

 look at the concentration :)

Cowboy Carlie can ride and pose at the same time.....definitely my daughter!

 Pin the Badge on the Sheriff

They did great!!!

Chow Time

 Such Cute Cow Pokes

 Yummy Cupcakes

 Gotta keep the cowboys hydrated

Carlie was such a great helper.  During lunch she lead the kids in a game of I Spy
(totally her idea - so proud of her initiative and leadership)

 Then the BANDIT arrived.......the cowboys and cowgirls started to chase him

 gonna get that bad guy!!!

 shooting the bandit

 We are gonna get that outlaw!!

The bandit is DOWN!!

 Hold 'em up outlaw!

The dead and SOAKED bandit!

 singing & blowing out the candles......

CUPCAKES with the Bandit!

 Love my girl!

 Spencer loved his cupcake

 Cutie Matthew

Love that cupcake face Nathan!

 Beautiful Cowgirl Josie

 Jake the ham!!  Hold 'em up!!

 Happy Samantha!!  Love her!!

Jacob my little leader...

 My weirdo Berk

gunslingers

 LOVE the evil face

 double the fire power

Time for presents....Berkeley's favorite part, of course.

He actually squealed in a super high pitched tone...hilarious

 Triple Trouble!!

what cuties

 The water guns were a HIT!

 Love my birthday boy

 That is one handsome cowboy

The party was super fun and there is NO WAY I could have done it without the help of my hard-working and creative mother!!!  Thank you mom - you are AMAZING!!!