Chemotherapy.....The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

 Now that I am on the other side of 5 months of HELL, I can attest to it taking everything I had and more.  Thank goodness for my faith, friends, and family.

 My first four chemotherapy treatments consisted of the two drugs Adriamycin and Cytoxan (AC).  They infused these poisons through my port every 2 weeks for a total of 4 treatments.  I was in a complete chemo fog, was ridiculously lethargic, was nauseous, had terrible raw mouth with sores, and basically felt pretty awful the entire 2 months. A few days before my next treatment I would start to feel a little better and then BAM they would poison me again.  I even had a double pulmonary embolism between my 3rd and 4th treatment just to make sure I was truly suffering enough. (see past blog post)

   Then on Wednesday, January 23rd I started a new chemo drug: TAXOL. I received this one every two weeks for a total of 4 treatments, just like AC.   This chemo treatment took MUCH longer to administer.  I would get to the cancer center at 9 am and wouldn't leave until about 4 pm.  The first treatment I was there until 6:30 pm.  For the taxol treatments I got my own room with a bed.  They had to pre-medicate me with a bunch of anti-histamines and steroids to prevent an allergic reaction.  This made me SUPER SLEEPY!!!!  The first time they give it to you a nurse has to sit and watch you for the first 1/2 hour to make sure you are not having an allergic reaction. Taxol also can cause tingling in the hands and feet.  The first time I got taxol my fingers started tingling so they had to slow the infusion down.

  The first few days after treatment I felt ok. I was really tired, but  I thought, wow - maybe this one will not be too bad.  OH BOY WAS I WRONG.  The bone pain started on Saturday afternoon. It was horrific. I pretty much did not leave my bed for over a week.  Pain pills were my friend.  They didn't completely take the pain away, but they helped me not care about it as much (does that make sense?).  Taxol also gave me horrible headaches and some other nasty side affects that no one wants to read about - trust me....nastiness.

     My 2nd and 3rd treatment were about the same.  I would come home and pass out for a few days, have bone pain for a few more then I would feel not too horrible for 4-5 days before my next treatment. 

    My 4th and LAST treatment I thought would be like my 2nd and 3rd.  I was wrong....very wrong.  I pretty much stayed in bed in pain for the full 2 weeks following treatment.   It was horrible.  I was exhausted, but would stay up all night.  Ambien was NOT working.  When I did fall asleep I would only sleep for 2 or 3 hours at a time.  I really thought I was going crazy.  When I would get up and walk around I would get light-headed. my pulse would race, and I would feel light-headed.

Let's just say, TAXOL...not a fan.

   I also felt like chemotherapy was making me stupid.  I felt like my brain was not working properly.  I had a hard time completing thoughts.  It was even more difficult to carry on a conversation with someone.  I would lose track of what I was saying.   For example, I LOVE reading.  Before chemo I would read all the time.  My dream day consists of doing nothing, but reading.  During my 4 months of chemotherapy I didn't read at all.  I would try to start a book and I just could not do it.  My brain would wander off....it was the weirdest thing. 

  The other side effect of chemo that I had with both treatments was the feeling of YUCK.....It is really hard to explain.  I could feel the poison in my body....I always felt full of chemicals and well yucky (see I told you I couldn't explain it).
Another fantastic side effect was hot flashes and night sweats!!!  All you menopausal women out there can relate.  All of a sudden I would feel like I was melting.  If I was in public that meant taking off my hat or wig.....I would usually get some funny looks.  At night I would wake up sometimes several times at night drenched in sweat.....so NASTY!!!

    For most of the 4 months of chemotherapy I was really hungry.  Not many things sounded good to me but when something did sound good I would eat a ton of it.  It is the weirdest thing to feel nauseous and hungry at the same time.  I also was extra hungry at night-time.  Some nights I would gorge myself with a  ridiculous amount of junk (chocolate, cheesecake, chips, etc).  Before chemo I was a Diet Dr. Pepper addict....seriously I was in love with it.  When I was on chemo I couldn't stand the taste of diet soda so I switched the full power Dr. Pepper.   I gained so much weight laying around for 4 months eating way too much unhealthy food....I was kinda disgusting.

So that is a short summary of the some of the bad and ugly parts of my chemotherapy.  So what in the world was the good part??????  

Hopefully the good part is the POISONS  MURDERED any lingering cancer cells in my body AND that it GREATLY REDUCED my chance of my aggressive cancer coming back. 

 Oh PLEASE do not come back.
I also was told I would lose every hair on my body including my eyebrows and eyelashes. I did lose most of the hair on my body, BUT I never lost my eyelashes or eyebrows - SO FAB!!!  I also did not need to shave my legs or armpits the whole time....SO RAD!!!

The best part though is I AM DONE WITH 4 months of chemo!!!!!!  Hooray!!!!!