Some Giraffes and a Dam

Here are some fun photos from June 2012.  

We were hanging out in The Dalles and went on an outing with Aunt Kimmy, Andres, Adan, and Sophia.

 Adan did NOT want his picture taken.

 Gooo Aldridge!!!

 Oh wow!!  I have hair.  

 The Dalles is so pretty......I miss it

 Took a trip across the bridge into Washington to visit Schreiner Farms.  So awesome that there is such amazing wildlife right here in the gorge.

no trip across The Dalles bridge complete without an ice cream cone.

My STRONG Lady

Back in June 2012 we spent a week in The Dalles so Carlie could participate in the Missoula Children's Theatre production of Jack and the Bean Stalk.  She was cast as the Strong Lady and even had a really cute & funny speaking part.  She spent all week practicing and then had two performances on Saturday.  She did such a fantastic job.  Last year she was in the Pied Piper and it was fun to see how much she has grown up and improved in her dancing, singing, & acting.  It was also extra fun because some of her cousins were in the play with her.

Berk & Dad waiting for the performance

Berk & Adan

Can you see the Strong Lady in all her glory?????  I am super bummed that I can't find the video I took of her singing, dancing, & acting.  It was so much fun!!!!

 What a ham!!!  Where does she get that???

 Did some swimming that week after practice

 What a goober!!!

 Berk & Adan are such good buds!

 Swimming in grandma's front yard

 yummy Burgerville

 Not sure who thought it would be a good idea to have these boys do grandma's yard work!!

doggy kisses

Reality Bites Sometimes...Keeping it Real

        I would love to report that I have been feeling great, but that would be a lie.  I have not blogged in forever because I had nothing good to say and all I wanted to do was complain about how CRAP-O-LA my life was.  It REALLY bothers me when people whine and complain.  It is so annoying to go on facebook and read everyone complain, complain, complain.   I truly believe that  happiness is a choice.  I love people with good attitudes; I want to be around people with good attitudes.   I have been trying to choose a good attitude......but FAILING MISERABLY.
Why is this???  Why am I unhappy and even angry most of the time???
I am a very organized person.  I love to plan.  I love to work hard.  I love to be very involved in my kids lives and my community.  I love to teach. I love to take care of my family. I love to be busy.  I love to feel like I am contributing to society.  I love to be active.  I love to make a difference.  I love to do things my way.  I love being in charge AND in control.
CANCER HAS TAKEN ALL OF THIS FROM ME.  I HAVE LOST CONTROL OVER MY LIFE.
     This I think is the root of my problem.  I am so isolated from people.  I can't take care of my family.  I rarely leave my house.  When I do leave it is to go to the doctor's office.  I lay in bed days on end watching TV and trying to sleep.  I am in pain.  I feel terrible.  I am gaining weight like crazy...all my pants are WAY too tight.  I am bald. My belly is all bruised from the painful shots I give myself twice a day. I am cranky.  I can't work to help support my family, I have insane hot flashes where I feel like I am melting.  I have one boob and I am SO LOPSIDED. This is my reality.  I can't do any of those things that made me feel like I was in control and ALIVE.  The cancer treatment is in control.  My life is on hold for at least a year.  I have control over very few things in my life.  No matter how great my attitude is, most of my days I am going to feel yucky.  No matter how great my attitude is it will not take away the pain.  I know that the pain and discomfort and lack of control is part of the journey.  I am having a hard time accepting this lack of control. 
     I know that through prayer, the support of family, friends, and a good attitude I will get through this.  I know that I will be given the strength to endure and to win this battle.  BUT, yikes this is a crazy tough one.  This is a really long one. When I am done with chemo there is still radiation, hormone treatment, reconstructive surgery, and physical therapy, etc.......  Where is the light at the end of the tunnel??  Why can't I be one of those people that are super active and lead pretty normal lives while fighting cancer???  I keep thinking....that can be me....I am Wonder Woman.  There are days were I will wake up in the morning determined to have a good attitude and accomplish something worthwhile. Then I go take a shower and my good attitude washes away and then I pass out and feel awful the rest of the day.
   Some of you are thinking...Gee Whiz Gina......What a WHINER - complain much????  I say....I am trying to KEEP IT REAL and REALITY BITES sometimes.

BUT, don't worry....don't feel sorry for me.  Unless feeling sorry for me means you send me chocolate and Dr. Pepper :)

Now that I have gotten that all that garbage off my chest I feel better.  I will try to go back to my policy of keeping the whining down to a minimum.

I still have so much to be grateful for.  In the wisdom of my grandpa Jolley.  I just need to suck it up and smile.
I also need to remember that I do have some control in my life.

I can laugh - give & receive love - pray - be grateful - be hopeful

     Today I got up with a pretty good attitude....took a shower...thought I was going to pass out, but pushed through it.  I went to my daughter's basketball game and out to lunch.  I actually accomplished something.   So I guess things are not so bad.......

Here is to better days,
Gina  - The OBW