Hospice Help!

I have had the worst sleeplessness ever since I got home from San Diego a week ago.  I just keep blaming it on overdoing it, but it still wasn't going away after a week.  Today two of my favorite hospice ladies came over to help me problem solve.  So we changed some medications strengths  and times I am taking them.  Wish me luck.  I literally have been asleep the past week and it is getting really old, really fast.  I have things I need and want to do.  I am really afraid I am running out of time.
I need to:
 - Record all my Story Corps (stories of my life)
 - Create, arrange, buy presents for my kids and husband in the future
 - Make a list of the songs that will go along with my slideshow that will be shown at my wake
 - Pick my funeral songs
 - Final Honey-Do List :)
 - Finish a few ideas I want done at my funeral

  It is so weird to help plan your own funeral!!!!!!!  We have bought our burial plot and designed the headstone.  I think my hubby ordered my casket online (i need to check this out and give approval).  I want a cheap one, but not so cheap I look like a hillbilly.  

  BUT, then here is the most important thing.  I really want to accomplish the above list BUT,BUT,BUT,BUT.......I MUST spend as much quality time with the family as possible too.  So trying to balance this when you are super sleepy has been a big challenge.  
  We are meeting up with my sister Michelle & Ed and their 6 kids AND my brother Scott and Mitchell and their 5 kids AND my mom AND Corey's mom next Monday.  (Lance's family will be missing and I am not too happy about that) We rented a really cool cabin Monday-Thursday up in Kalispell, Whitefish, and Glacier National Park.  Hopefully my strength will hold out for us to create some fabulous memories in one of the most beautiful places on earth.  Tonight Corey & I decided that was too short of a trip so we booked a hotel room in Whitefish starting a few days earlier so we can have some mellow family time before it gets too crazy.  
   I just don't know how I can survive without my family.  How does one do that?  I don't think I can.  Then I get selfish and think how can they do it without me?  We think Carlie is going through another growth spurt (she is 11 and is 6'0"), She is now growing again....aaaaargh!  She needs her mommy to take her shopping, especially for jeans.  I am frightened what her dad will pick out.  It is hard enough to buy cool, age-appropriate, somewhat modest clothing for a girl that age, BUT an awkward 6 foot plus size 13 women shoe girl......OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!!  Who is going to help my kiddos navigate making friends and making good choices in these friends.  Don't get me wrong Corey is an excellent parent, BUT being a mommy and daddy and a recent widow has got to be an insanely hard thing to do.
Well, it is getting super late and I must get a little sleep and take some more pain meds.  Thanks for listening to my little feel sorry for myself rant.
Love you my peeps,
Gina the Awesome

Is This the Last Time?

Today's blog post might be short even though I have a lot to say.  I am exhausted.  I only got a couple hours of sleep the night before and I have had a busy day today (well busy for my failing body).

I have being thinking a lot lately about how I am doing some things for the very last time.  For example, I most likely celebrated Berkeley's birthday with him for the very last time.  That this is probably my last summer on earth.

Today it really struck me big time at Carlie's orchestra concert.   Carlie is entering the 6th grade this fall.  She started orchestra this past year in the 5th grade.  I have been amazed at how quickly she has picked this skill up and I really feel that she has found one of her great talents and passions for her life.  I brings me such joy to watch the joy it brings her to play.   Probably one of the neatest things for her is when she is upset or stressed out she will go to her room and play and play until she feels better.  What a wonderful way to be able to manage stress in life.  She also is amazing at memorizing the songs.  Another super amazing thing is she is never afraid to try out for a solo.  This girl has no fear in her violin stylings :)

Anyways the first two weeks after school got out she attended a Orchestra Camp held by the school district.  Her teachers for the camps were her old teacher and her teacher for next year.  Her teacher for next year is super talented and super cute.  Those girlies are going to be so in love with him.  I was so impressed with all they learned in a two week period.  They play all the classic type strings songs, but they also play really cool rock music, etc.  The teacher broke out his drums and they played a Cold Play song and it sounded fabulous.  I am so excited for her and this opportunity.  SO MUCH FUN.  I need to get her going on private lessons ASAP.

Here is her "impromptu solo".  I was so proud.

So back to what really struck me.  This might be the very last concert I get to see my baby girl perform in.  I was watching the concert, videoing, and taking pictures, grinning ear to ear as I listened to her solo (of course she was a soloist) and the main thing I found myself having to do is keep from crying.  If anyone was watching my face they probably thought I belonging in an insane asylum.  I got glimpses of her all grown up in high school in advanced orchestras, kicking some butt.
Sao I have this problem (I guess it is a problem) that everything thing we do and say I am going to be thinking that this could be my last time I am with my kids on the first day of school OR even was last year the last time.
I am not ready to give up all the aspects of being with my kids as they grow up.  At least with Carlie I am started to see her discover her talents and see some possible directions for her.  The heartbreaking thing is Berkeley is only 8.  I have no idea where he is going.  He is just an adorable, difficult, little tornado, bursting with energy.  He needs me to help channel this energy into positive directions.
My kiddos are my life.  I can't imagine not being around, but I am going to have to come to terms with it.  Not sure how, but I will be forced into it one way or another.

Peace out!
Gina the Awesome

It's a Despicable Party!!

WARNING***The formatting/spacing on this blog post is super weird...Blogger is totally irritating me right now!!!  Lame...blogger, LAME.

Carlie turned NINE this past Thursday. 

 On Saturday we had a BIG Despicable Party for her and 10 of her super, duper fun friends.  Thank goodness my sister and sister in law Michelle (they both are named Michelle & they are both are CRAZY talented party planners) just recently put on Despicable Me Parties for their kids.  They helped me so much and I stole lots of their ideas (and I had a few of my own).  I also need to thank my mother-in-law for her help with some of the food prep and my sister-in-law Annie for all her help Saturday morning.  These two awesome ladies TOTALLY saved me (I still am physically not back & truly needed some help)

I truly LOVE putting on parties for my kids.  

On the left are the Jelly Jar gifts for all the minions at the party.   In the middle are the minion popcorn bags for the minions to eat while they watched the Minion Madness Shorts (too bad I forgot to give them the popcorn during the movie...oooops).  On the right you have the Minion push pop Twinkies.

 I am in LOVE with the Shrink Rays, Shrunken Moon Pops, and Minion-ade.  If you haven't seen Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2 you are just not going to understand all my clever party food and decorations.

Of course we had to have food from Salsa y Salsa Restaurante

 These girls are in BIG trouble......Box of Shame....he.he.he

 Hanging Minions

We then had a Annoying Sound Contest.....be happy I did NOT record this.  

My ear drums were ringing for hours afterwards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next, we played Minion Musical Chairs (I used music from the movie soundtracks)

I have a bunch of videos....here are the first two of these cuties dancing around.

Ladies all cozy upstairs watching Minion Madness (too bad I forgot their popcorn)

Had to do a craft with my super crafty lady Carlie.  Besides a few glue in the hair mishaps I thought the girls were super creative and they had such a great time creating, and chatting, and giggling

She got a lot of fabulous presents!  What a lucky and spoiled girl to have such sweet friends :)

Cake Time!!!!!!!

The ladies leaving with all their loot....check out their hats!

 Got to have CRAZY, FUNNY face pictures!!  It is a requirement in my book.

Close ups of the Jelly Jars....Eat JELLY, you purple freaks!

Berkeley came home (thank you Becky for watching him during the party...you are a lifesaver)so Berk and Carlie invited their neighborhood buddies over to play.  They went crazy with the craft supplies and leftover food and candy.  It was a pretty fantastic after party :-)

I LOVE my Carlie!!!!!!!!!  Happy birthday sweet. sweet girl.
Mamma loves you!

Happy Birthday to CARLIE!

Carlie turned NINE this past week.  I can't believe it.  My baby is growing up way too fast!!

  STOP, TIME, STOP!!!! 

Anyways, her birthday was super busy and fun.  Here is a summary of her BIG day!

 Here she is with her breakfast birthday muffin & birthday song :)

Here is a big basket of Oreo Rice Krispie treats for all the kids in her class at school. 

 It was SO FUN to deliver this basket of treats for Carlie to hand out during her lunch.

 Carlie's crazy table mates

 The whole crazy class....LOVE these kids.  They are so so so cute!

the treats were a big hit

 basket is almost empty..YUM...YUM

 After school we headed to the mall to get Carlie's ears pierced.  

She has been thinking about getting her ears pierced for a few months and she decided that her birthday would be the perfect time to do it.....I agreed. 

 Above is the BEFORE picture

AND

Ta-Da!!!

 Here are some after photos...how pretty!!!  She was so brave and excited.  She keeps looking at herself in the mirror (true Jolley's like to look at themselves in the mirror).

 Dad came home from work early so Carlie could open all her birthday loot.....

Look at that bike.  Isn't it the cutest???  

 sweet basket for her rad bike

 She squealed in the highest pitch you can imagine when she open her Caty Nior Monster High Doll. 

 It was hilarious.

 Berkeley insisted on giving her a Monster High video game

 (he loves playing it as much as she does...smart boy)

 taking it for a spin

 I still can't get over how cute this bike is.  I want it!!!  I also can't believe that she has an adult sized bike!

 Here comes little brother 

 He looks so tiny next to Carlie

 Carlie displayed her new dolls for her friends to check out

 We then headed to Berk's soccer practice.  Man he is a cutie.

 Work it Berk!

 We then headed over to Azteca for a yummy birthday meal - Carlie's choice, of course.

 Carlie loves her daddy

Berkeley & mommy - what is he doing with that eye...winking at the camera?

The highlight is always when they come sing happy birthday, bring a dessert, & put the sombrero on your head.  Carlie was so happy.  She said it was the best day ever (besides Disneyland).

 Berk got some hat action too.

Overall it was a great day. I was EXHAUSTED!!!!!
 I love making birthdays extra special for my kiddos.  

Next blog post, THE BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!