Bald Beauty

A few days after dose #2 of poison...oops I mean medicine to kill cancer my hair started falling out EVERYWHERE.  If I pulled on my hair it would fall out in clumps.  I knew it was coming, but it was so WEIRD.  I would be laying around and hair would fly in my eyes or mouth.  I would wake up from a nap and my pillow would be coated in hair - SO GROSS.  

So I decided it was time to shave it all off.  I called up my fabulous friend Shannon & she came on over to buzz it all off.  So here are some pictures of our fun Monday night (December 17th).

 scary Gina

don't mess with me!!!

I decided to include the kids in the fun.  I figured it would be much less scary for them to watch it happen than to wake up in the morning with a bald mamma.  They thought it was fun.  Lots of giggling.  Carlie kept saying people were going to make fun of us.  She also told me I looked like a boy.  Berkeley kept staring at me and telling me I was bald & had no hair.
SILLY KIDS.....we look AMAZING :)

 My sweet husband decided to shave his head too.

 Here we are.
  I would like to point out that I was feeling super crappy that day.
 I had NO makeup on and I was wearing my pajamas.

 not an Aldridge family photo without silly faces.

A few days later when I was feeling better I put some makeup on and snapped a few photos.

I have not shed one single tear about my hair.  I really don't even feel sad about it.  It is just hair.  It will grow back.  I don't look great, but I don't look too bad for a bald cancer patient.    It is crazy how cold my head gets without hair.  I wear a hat most of the time to keep my head warm.  I also got a beautiful wig.   But, I also sport the bald head around the house a lot and in public.  I am not self-conscious about it at all.  I get some double takes, but I am used to that being an extra tall and gorgeous woman (he..he..he..)

My Hair

My hair is going to fall out soon......probably this week or the next.
Here is my new hair.
 I did it for fun.
 I did it because it does actually reflect my wild streak in my personality.
 I did it to lose my hair on my terms.....
 I did it because my favorite color is purple.
but I did it mostly to say CANCER YOU SUCK....SCREW YOU!
If that isn't punk rock then I do not know what is.

Here is a pic of the haircut BEFORE the purple.

When my hair starts falling out I am going to shave it all off, but for now I am going to have some fun.

peace out -
The One Boob Wonder :)

Chemo....Day One - This is My Kind of Turkey Day

Today was a long day, but I consider it a successful day.  I was nervous going into it because I didn't really know what to expect.  BUT, the doctor, nurses, volunteers, my hubby, & my mother-in-law took excellent care of me today.  I actually feel o.k. at this point.  I have a little headache and I feel super funky, a little tired, and drugged up (shocker, I know with 5 drugs coursing through my body)...BUT not sick yet.  I was at the cancer center for about 5 hours.
It has been so helpful for me to have the blog because..........
- It means I don't have to repeat myself a hundred times to people
- My friends & family can stay updated with as much or as little information as they want (I know some of my blog posts are LONG winded - I have a lot to say)
- It also helps me process my feelings and stay on top of all the information I get bombarded with
- I also think it is helpful for people to REALLY see what all is involved in fighting cancer.  I think there is power in the details. It has been an eye opening experience.

Sooooooooo, time for a long winded re-cap of the day (in bullet form - my favorite):
- Appointment started at 9 ended a little after 2.

 

1.  First, they did blood work.  It was the first time using my port....kinda weird, but super cool.  You can see the port in use above.  They numb & sterilize the area first.  They use a special needle that when it is taken out the port seals right up.  It is pretty nifty and much better than having to find a good vein over and over again (having flashbacks to college & donating plasma).  They also took an extra vial of blood to send it off for genetic testing for the breast cancer gene.
2. Then we sat down with the doctor for a LONG chat.  He went over why he thinks my chemo treatment is the best, the rare and scary side effects, test results, & some of what is in store for me.   I am not going to tell you everything, but here are a few things:

• One of the drugs I am taking can cause heart failure 2% of the time (but it is usually reversible)

• My blood work pre-chemo showed I am anemic and that I have low red blood cells,  low hemoglobin, & low potassium......no bueno.  This means I got preventive antibiotics today AND I will have to stay away from public places (more on that later)
• I have to take my temperature every day.  He got SUPER SERIOUS about this.  He said no matter what, if I have a temperature over 101 degrees I must immediately go to the emergency room.  He said there is a 1% chance of dying from chemo (he has never had a patient die from chemo).....and he said it is because people ignore this sign of infection.  If you get antibiotics for it right away they can save you.....if you wait - you are stupid and die. 

• The Onco test showed that I have a high re-occurrence rate (score 33 =  22% rate) for my cancer (this is for it showing up somewhere other than my breast - metastatic = super scary).  Chemo will significantly lower my chances of this happening AND it can kill any microscopic cancer cells that all the modern technology can't pick up with a test or scan.  There might be something hiding in my nodes or bones, etc.....He said he hopes I am in the 78% chance group of cancer NOT coming back and that we did chemo for no reason.

  3.  After the doctor chat they took me back to the chemo area.   Since it was my first time I got a private room with a hospital bed and TV.  It was actually pretty cozy.  I hung out and played on my phone while they waited for my blood results.  Then, they gave me antibiotics & 2 nausea medications through the port (Aloxi, Emend, Cortistat LA) &....this took awhile.  When this was done they did a saline flush and I had to wait 30 minutes before they could start the chemo drugs.  At this point I had been there 3 hours.  A volunteer brought me veggie lasagna & a salad (pretty good) & a nasty custard for dessert.  They also had lots of snacks & drinks available to me.  I had two cups of chocolate ice cream and a lot of juice....yum.  Ice cream always makes things better.  Everyone was SUPER nice.
4.  After lunch they started the chemo medications.  First up, Adriamycin.  It took about 40 minutes to infuse this poison cancer killing medicine into my body.  This is the one that makes your pee red, and sure enough my pee is orangy/red.  It is like I put food coloring in my pee.
5.  Then, another flush of saline and they infused the poison medicine cytoxan.  While they were administering all the drugs my nurse went over all the things I need to do, what side effects I need to notify them about, and what to do with my 7 prescriptions I was going to get
 - Decadron & Zofran to prevent nausea
 -  Levaquin, an antibiotic to start on Monday
 - Ambien for my insomnia
 - Lidocaine to numb my port before each appointment
- Peridex, a mouth wash - He doesn't want me to brush my teeth AT ALL next week.  Each time people brush their teeth the introduce bacteria into the blood stream.  Wow....this is going to be nasty.
 - Naproxen for my arthritis and pain that can occur......he told me to use my oxycodone if I felt it was necessary
6.  Then, I was done.....I had taken my iPhone from 100% down to 3%.....that meant time to go home :)  I got A LOT of parting gifts, but my favorite was the CRAZY turkey blanket.  Only one person a month gets a themed blanket that a super sweet lady makes.  LOVE that there is a wild, crazy, funky turkey.....just like me.  I told my friend today that when I first saw it all folded  up  I thought what a pretty, neutral colored blanket.  When I opened it up I gasped....what a crazy surprise.  It is like me.  I look like a nice and normal-ish gal, but sometimes I let my crazy, funky side out (well maybe I let the crazy out more than sometimes).

7.  On the way home I grabbed a veggie burrito at Taco Time - Oh man it was the tastiest burrito ever.  Now I am home relaxing, eating, feeling mediocre, & the chemo brain is already starting.  Just took a preventive nausea pill.
8.  I go back tomorrow for a shot of Neulasta.  This will help my body make white blood cells to fight off possible infections.
9.  Around Monday my blood count will probably drop.  Because it is already low he wants me to start another antibiotic on Monday and avoid public places Monday - Friday. He gave me masks for people to wear.  I also have gloves that need to be used when cleaning up my puke or bodily fluids for the next 48 hours.  The chemo drugs can be absorbed through the body fluids. I meet with the PA next Tuesday to check on me and do blood work.
10.  In exactly two weeks I do this all over again.....so excited....

THANKS for all the love I have been shown today.  My facebook and inbox are blowing up. My mother-in-law is here helping take care of me and my family.  My husband stayed with me the whole time even though he was super busy at work and had a big budget approval presentation to his board at 4 pm. My house cleaners that my rad sister-in-law arranged came today too.  It was amazing to come home to a super clean house.  I didn't know I had so many people in my corner.  YOU ALL ROCK!!

So I am going to rest now and kick some cancer butt.  Remember: A positive attitude is contagious and powerful AND you have the POWER to choose your attitude.

- The One Boob Wonder

Here Goes Nothing

Chemotherapy starts in about 36 hours (Wednesday morning 9 am).  To be honest....I am pretty nervous....I don't know what to expect.  I like to think of myself as a superwoman who can handle anything, but there are SO MANY possible side effects it is pretty overwhelming when I allow myself to ponder on it.
I will be receiving chemotherapy every other week for the next 16 weeks.  I should hopefully finish a little after my 42nd birthday in March.  I am on a regiment called AC followed by T (Adriamycin & Cyclophosphamide followed by Paclitaxel..taxel for short).  The first 4 injections will be AC and then the last 4 injections will be taxel.  Both treatments have some pretty nasty possible side effects.  Since I don't have to worry about taxel for awhile I am going to talk about AC.
Here are the SERIOUS possible side effects of AC:
- cause birth defects &/or infertility (this is no problem - no more babies for me was already the forced on me plan...thank you cancer #1)
- 1/1000 chance of getting leukemia (even years later)
- lowers my blood cell count - I can bleed/bruise or get infections more easily - stay away from sick people (flu season - might have to be a homebody), brush & floss gently......etc  He also had me stop taking my medication Gleevec.  Gleevec is the drug that keeps my GIST from coming back, BUT it also lowers my blood count so he wants me to quit taking it.
- allergic reaction
- blistering, peeling, red skin rash
- blood in my urine or stools, painful urination; bloody or black, tarry stools
- fever, chills, cough, sore throat, dry mouth, hot & dry skin, dizziness, confusion, extreme thirst
- NAUSEA, vomiting, loss of appetite, pain in upper stomach (she said this is the most common side effect, but they have lots of medications to try to help with this)
- fatigue, fast or uneven heartbeat
- rapid weight gain or swelling of hands, ankles, or feet
- Adriamycin most likely will cause your urine to turn red for 1 to 2 days
- seizures
- shortness of breath, cold sweat, bluish-colored skin 
- unusual bleeding, bruising, or weakness
- yellow eyes or skin
Here are the LESS serious side effects:
- I will stop menstruating during treatment, possibly FOREVER (this is FANTASTIC!!....always a bright side)
- I will FOR SURE lose my hair (ALL OF IT - EVERYWHERE....STOP... think about it...yup - never thought of that before)  .....changes in the color of my skin or nails.  I have been told that OFTEN the leg hair & arm pit hair take their sweet time coming back....this also sounds fantastic!!!  No shaving for awhile....Whoo-Hoo!!  I will lose my hair sometime during the week of December 9th.  Just in time to look extra pretty for Christmas.
- sores or white patches in my mouth, lips or throat
-  weakness or tiredness

I am trying to be optimistic and hope that I am spared some of these side effects. But, when I read that list some of them a pretty scary.  The PA told me I for sure will be tired & most likely nauseous.  The rest of them we will wait and see.
Please continue to pray & send good vibes to me & my family.  They are needed and I have felt their power already.  I still can't believe all the loving things people have said & done for me & my family.  It is AWESOME!!!!!

Love,
The One Boob Wonder
Just keep on L-I-V-I-N

Steroids=Speed, My Support Group, & MORE GREAT NEWS

     I FINALLY have the steroids out of my system.  I can't believe how CRAZY they made me.  I felt like I was on speed AKA I was a "tweeker".  I couldn't sit still or sleep.  My leg literally twitched.  My brain had a hard time processing information and translating that into speech.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful it got rid of the HORRIFIC rash - BUT holy cow nobody told me how messed up I would be on steroids.   Then after the dose level tapered off I CRASHED HARD!!!  I pretty much slept for 31 hours.  YUP, just like a tweeker would. Thank goodness my wonderful mother-in-law came to take care of my family after my mommy left on Wednesday because I WAS USELESS.  Good news though, I finally feel normal and I continue to heal from my two surgeries.

 With MUCH apprehension I attended my first breast cancer support group.   I arrived and realized I was in a room full of old ladies.  I felt like I was at my water aerobics classes again (don't get me wrong - loved water aerobics & old ladies).  I wasn't sure what to expect, but I liked it.  The first hour they had a guest speaker who talked about exercise and then we did some of her exercises....yikes - the old lady exercises were harder than they looked :)  I guess my exercise routine of 0 times a week is NOT working :)
     The 2nd hour they went around the room and everyone introduced themselves and said where they were in the breast cancer journey.  Most of the women there were 2+ year survivors.  There was a 38 year survivor there.  There was a lady that her hair was just growing back.  It was kinda cool to see so many women that were on the cancer-free side of things.  It actually was inspiring.
     I was by FAR the youngest one there AND the most recent diagnosed.  One of the ladies got all excited about me and insisted that I be in the survivor march next month at the big annual breast cancer fundraiser.  They said they need people to see that breast cancer is not just an old lady disease.  The hospital is fundraising to build/remodel a breast cancer wing to the hospital.  I told them I was on cancer #2 and about all my other medical issues-  that basically I have a LEMON of a body.  I told them that this cancer was much more scary and I was scared of chemotherapy.  They did a great job of building me up and convincing me that I was strong and could do it.  I figure if all these women can do it, so can I.  The best part of the group though is they love to laugh!  They also LOVED that I am "The One Boob Wonder".  Laughter is the best medicine.

BUT  - HERE IS THE BEST PART!!!!!!!!!!
My breast care coordinator is the one that runs the support group.  I really, really, really like her.  She is about my age and is compassionate and funny.  Anyways, she pulled me aside after the group and told me that she knew my Oncotype DX Test results!!!!!  She had just looked at them earlier in the day.  This was the THIRD test to try to find out if I am HER-2 positive or not. (I am a mystery)
If I am HER-2 positive I would do chemo for a year.
If I am HER-2 negative I would do chemo for 2-3 months.

WOOOOO HOOOOOO I am HER-2 negative!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 I am not excited for chemo, BUT this is so much better.  I had convinced myself with my luck and crappy body that I would be HER-2 positive.  Hooray for shorter chemo!!!!!!!!!!!!

She told me she didn't remember all the other details, but that my doctor would discuss it with me at my appointment on Wednesday 

So this is more happy news!!!  

 

If you want some more info on this test here it is (I think it is super interesting, but I am a science nerd):

The Oncotype DX genomic test looks at groups of genes and how active they are, which can influence how a cancer is likely to grow and respond to treatment. A genomic test is different from a genetic test. A genetic test looks for mutations (unusual changes) in genes that are inherited, or passed from one generation to the next.
The Oncotype DX test uses a sample of breast cancer tissue to analyze the activity of 21 genes. Genes control the behavior and activities of all cells, including cancer cells. When cells are behaving abnormally, it often can be traced back to unusual activity by certain genes.
Looking at these 21 genes can provide specific information on:

• the likelihood that the breast cancer will return
• whether you’re likely to benefit from chemotherapy if you’re being treated for early-stage invasive breast cancer
• whether you’re likely to benefit from radiation therapy if you’re being treated for DCIS

So, the Oncotype DX test is both a prognostic test, since it provides more information about how likely (or unlikely) the breast cancer is to come back, and a predictive test, since it predicts the likelihood of benefit from chemotherapy or radiation therapy treatment.
 http://www.breastcancer.org/symptoms/testing/types/oncotype_dx

Port, Rash, Steroids, & Some Great News

Last Thursday, November 8th I had outpatient surgery to put in a port.  Usually they only do a local anesthesia, but my surgeon decided to do a general - so I was completely out. 
A chemotherapy port is a small devise (yes mine is purple) that is implanted under your skin to allow easy access to your bloodstream. A port can be used to draw blood and infuse chemo drugs.  It makes chemotherapy so much easier.  During insertion, a small round metal or plastic disc is placed under your skin through an inch-or-two-long incision.


My port is on my left side - upper chest - above the clavicle. The port is then attached to a catheter tube that is threaded into one of the large veins near your neck, such as the subclavian vein or jugular vein, and ends near the top of my heart.
It is totally under my skin.  All you can see is a small scar and a bump.  I will take a picture of it when the rest of the bandages are off.  The surgeon also drained all the excess fluid on my right chest and under my arm.


    Anyways, the surgery was minor and I was home by 1 in the afternoon.  The next two days were painful, but I dosed up on pain pills & retreated to my cave (my big, dark, cozy bedroom).  It actually was more painful than my mastectomy.  I think that is pretty unbelievable.
     Anyways, just as the pain was subsiding I started getting itchy in the middle of the night (Friday night).  I woke up and noticed I had broken out where the iodine prep was still on my skin.  So I washed it off and went back to bed.  For those of you who think that is gross that I still had that on....I would like to point out that my doctor said not to shower until Saturday & I still had a HUGE bandage on my chest.  By morning I had broken out in a EVIL rash all over my left breast.  By the end of Saturday it had spread to my upper left arm, underarm, abdomen, mastectomy site, neck, and upper chest. I had deep red, raw streaks in many places.  The bumps all over were swollen...it was Ridiculous. I was COMPLETELY miserable. I felt like my skin was on fire and I wanted to rip my skin off.  I felt like I was going INSANE.
      We called the surgical nurses at the hospital.  They told us to go to the ER.  I said -NO WAY.  I didn't want to go anywhere - I was a little delirious.  So they paged my doctor and he told my husband to not take me to the er.  I had been through enough.  He said unfortunately, it was not uncommon for this to happen.  It is an allergic reaction to the iodine/soap scrub down they give the area to prep for surgery.  He told my hubby to have me take Benadryl and put cortisone cream on the rash.  If it wasn't better by Monday or if I got a fever to call him back.  My sister-in-law Anne-Marie also suggested icing the area & taking some other allergy meds in addition.  Honestly, that was the only thing that really helped!!  I would ice the whole area down until it was numb and then I was able to fall asleep before it started itching again.  Thanks Anne-Marie!
     On Sunday it was not NOT any better, BUT it was the primary program that I had been looking forward to.  So I dosed up on meds, said a prayer or two, and put on my happy face.   I then went and led the music for my AWESOME kiddos in the program.  I was able to do it somehow.  By the time the program was over I was clammy and feeling faint and wanted to scratch my body off, but I DID IT!!!!  The kids sang beautifully and I was happy I didn't miss the program.  I then proceeded to go home and pass out.  Sunday was a blur and so was Monday.
     On Monday I had an appointment with the oncology PA to discuss my family tree/genetics and whether I should get the genetic test for the breast cancer gene.  I had her look at my rash.  She gave me a prescription for steroids to help get rid of the severe allergic reaction.  I am happy to report that when I woke up this morning the rash FINALLY was better.  It hasn't gone away, but it has gone down enough that I fell much better.  The steroids are making me tired, restless, and bloated, BUT THAT IS OK....It is much better than the INSANITY I felt all weekend long.

     The PA was concerned with my family history of cancer on my father's side.  My dad died of melanoma at age 51.  His sister (my auntie Trish) died at age 51 from multiple myeloma.  My dad and aunt lived in the Indian Bend Wash are in high school.  There is a high incidence rate of a wide variety of cancers in that area from people that lived in that area in that time period.   Some local companies had dumped industrial cancer causing solvents that contaminated the water in the 60's. It was discovered in 1983 and declared a Superfund site and the companies had to pay to clean it up. Hmmmmmmmm, this makes me wonder..........
    Anyways, my grandpa has had multiple melanoma lesions removed from his head/ears/neck & has colon cancer (but he didn't get the colon cancer until he was in his 90's).  My mom has even had melanoma.  I have had two cancers by age 41 and one of my younger cousins has had cancer too. There is only relation that I know of that has had breast cancer though - my mom's aunt.  But, she thinks it is concerning and is going to pass my case on to the City of Hope in Los Angeles to see what they think.  So she said it is up to me if I want to have the genetic test done.  She said there is an 8% chance I have it.  I think I am going to do the test for piece of mind.

I still do not know what my chemo plan is.  My 2nd test for HER-2 came back as inconclusive.  They said this is extremely rare for both tests to come back as inconclusive.  So there is only one other test that will give the HER-2 levels.  It is a genetic test.  It has been ordered and the results will hopefully be back by the end of the week.  I have another appointment for the day before Thanksgiving to discuss my chemo plan (we should know by then - hopefully).  They are now planning on me to start chemo the week after Thanksgiving.

So I have had a rough week AND my mom leaves on Wednesday.   BUT, I have good news for those of you who read this LONG post.

My PET scan and brain MRI came back NORMAL.  This means the cancer has NOT spread beyond the lymph nodes!!!  HOORAY!!!  This makes me happy and much more calm.  

 Finally, some good news :)

LOTS of Stuff to Do Pre-Chemo

On Tuesday, October 30th I met with my oncologist for the first time.  I was not sure what to expect, but I was not expecting to be there for 2 1/2 hours.  I was told so much information that I felt like I was on brain overload.  It has taken several days to process it all and now I am ready to share.  Good thing my smart husband recorded a lot of the appointment on his phone.  There is no way I would have been able to remember it all.

So here is a summary if you are interested:

- I will lose my hair...no way to avoid it.  It will start falling out around the 2nd treatment. I guess I will be a bald beauty :)
- He ordered  A LOT of tests/procedures/etc.  He said he does not normally do such extensive testing before chemotherapy, but I am young and feels it is necessary for my case.  He wants to make sure the cancer has not spread beyond my lymph nodes
          - PET Scan - I had this done this past Thursday morning.  This was a two hour test.  They
injected me with glucose(sugar) that had a radioactive marker.  I sat and read a book for an hour and
then moved me to the imaging room they took images of 7 sections of my body.  This part took over an hour.  It was pretty uncomfortable to lay that still for that long because of my stupid arthritis and it was crazy cold (even though they covered me in blankets)....but I survived.  This test works on the premise that cancer cells metabolize sugar at a faster rate than normal cells.  Any part of the body that is extra metabolically active will show up as a hot region.  Therefore my brain, kidneys, surgical site, AND CANCER will be hot.  So this test will show if the breast cancer has spread.  He said this test also is very sensitive to GIST too (my first cancer)....so we can see if that is showing up again.  He went ahead and included the brain in the PET scan.  He said it is like looking for fire within a fire, but he said it still can be useful.
          - Brain MRI - scheduled for Monday night (November 5th)....He ordered the brain MRI because you can't count on the PET scan to determine if the cancer has spread to the brain
          - CT Scan - He will order this one after the PET scan results are in.  He will at least do a chest CT so he can look at the axilla (underarm lymph area).  If the PET scan shows cancer in other areas then he will scan other parts of my body too
          - Genetic Testing - He wants me tested for the breast cancer gene (BCR-1 and BCR-2).  He thinks it is likely due to my young age & history of cancer on my father's side of the family.  If I do have the gene he will adjust my chemo accordingly - there are some drugs that work well in this case.  He said he would also recommend having a mastectomy on my remaining breast.....aaarghh.....
          - Blood Work - pretty routine....already done that day
          - Port - I will have a Port surgically inserted into my chest this Thursday.  It is an outpatient surgery using local anesthesia.  This is to give them direct access for chemotherapy.  I could also have the port put in under my arm.  He prefers the chest, but it does leave a scar in a place people will see.
          - Genetic & Chemotherapy counseling - I am meeting with the oncology PA on Thursday.  She will discuss & teach me all about the implications of genetic testing AND explain all about my chemotherapy plan.
          - Referral to Breast Cancer Center - said he will refer me to an oncologist in Seattle (preferably) or Portland that specializes in breast cancer for a 2nd opinion.  He said this is good not only for the obvious reason, but also I could be in a clinical trial if I wanted.  I think it is good to get a 2nd opinion, BUT I do not want to travel for all my appointments/treatments.  That is too crazy.  Portland is an hour away and Seattle is 2 hours away when there is NO traffic.  This particular oncologist is in my local hospital that is 15 minutes from my home....much better for me.

Once all the testing is done & the results are in I can start chemotherapy.  He said we will start either the week before Thanksgiving or the week of Thanksgiving.  He wants me also to be able to heal more from the mastectomy and get my strength back before starting.  We are STILL waiting for the HER-2 results.  We can't pick a chemo plan until these results are in, but he did explain my options either way.
If I am HER-2 positive:
One Option: TCH:   It is made up of three drugs:

• docetaxel (doe-se-TAX-el) or Taxotere® (TAX-o-teer)
• carboplatin (KAR-boe-pla-tin) or Paraplatin® (pair-a-PLA-tin)
• trastuzumab (tras-TOO-ze-mab) or Herceptin® (her-SEP-tin)

Docetaxel and carboplatin prevent cancer cells from dividing and growing, and can eventually cause the cancer cells to shrink and die. Trastuzumab is a new type of drug, called a monoclonal antibody, which targets cancer cells more precisely than chemotherapy drugs.
 I would take all three drugs every 3 weeks for 6 cycles = 18 weeks.  I would then continue on the Herceptin for a year.....yikes
OR
Another Option: AC + followed by Herceptin - this one has a slightly higher risk for heart failure than TCH so I am probably going to pick TCH unless convinced otherwise.  This one would be every 2 weeks for 4 cycles = 8 weeks, plus H for another year.

If I am HER-2 negative:
One Option: TAC:It is made up of three chemotherapy drugs:

• docetaxel (doe-see-TAX-el) or Taxotere® (TAX-o-teer).
• doxorubicin (dox-oh-ROO-bi-sin) or Adriamycin® (a-dree-a-MY-sin)
• cyclophosphamide (sye-kloe-FOSS-fa-mide) or Cytoxan® (sye-TOX-an)

This treatment would be every three weeks for 6 cycles. This one is harsher than the next option.  You have a 4/1000 chance of developing leukemia later.  He does not use this plan anymore, but his partner does.

OR

Another Option: AC:  this is the same as the first option expect you have only 2 drugs (you drop the Taxotere).  He likes this one better. This one would be every 2 weeks for 4 cycles. There is a 1/1000 chance of developing leukemia later.

****DISCLAIMER:  I did my best to take notes....I think I got the info correct.....could have made a mistake.  

During chemotherapy he might stop me from taking my Gleevec (this is the drug I take daily to keep my other cancer from returning).  Gleevec lowers white cell count so my blood count is already low- chemo makes it even lower.  If I keep taking it this could cause treatment delays.  It also puts me a greater risk for infection.  

After Chemotherapy we will discuss radiation.  He says this is very controversial and I will need to get at least 2 opinions, take all the information, and then decide what is best for me.

After chemotherapy I will also start hormone therapy.

We discussed and went over much more at the appointment, but this is the main gist of it all. My oncologist is very straight forward and honest.  He has a very open policy....he called the radiologist and discussed some of my tests on speaker phone in front of me - I really liked that.  He was sympathetic to my plight and just couldn't believe I was on cancer #2. He seemed like he really wanted to research and figure me out.  He claims to be opinionated and pushy (hmmm I think I can relate to that).  I liked him, I think my husband didn't.  But, my hubby said it is my decision and he will support me in whatever I decide (lucky girl). 

I was pretty overwhelmed after this appointment.  I will be happier when all these tests are complete and I know the results - good or bad.  The unknown is the WORST.  The chemotherapy or losing my boobs doesn't scare me too much, but having metastatic cancer does scare me. I have two little kids & a hubby that need me and I need them. I really hope it has not spread beyond the lymph nodes.  There is no cure for metastatic cancer.   

So keep the prayers and good vibes coming.  I truly am uplifted by every gesture of compassion whether small or large.  Don't be afraid to talk to me.  I like discussing how I am doing, even when it is not going well.  It is therapeutic.  I need friends and family like I have never needed them before.  It is o.k. to cry in front of me....this does not depress me, it makes me feel loved.  It is also o.k. to make jokes and laugh about things too.....I could always use a good laugh. 

I am going to keep trying to stay positive and happy.  I am feeling better.  I get more energy each day.  Life is still great.  

You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N.

peace out my friends - 

The One Boob Wonder

(working on stopping my killer boobs :)

 

A Little More Information...Technical Style

I had my first post-op appointment with my surgeon this past Thursday.
First and most importantly he took the drain out!!!!! HOORAY!!! That thing was making me miserable.
Second....my surgeon is so nice and caring.   How lucky am I to have such a compassionate surgeon.
Thirdly, I got some better soft fake boobs to put in my bra.  Now I can go in public :)
Lastly, I got the full details on my pathology report.  So here are some of the details for those of you that like the details:

WARNING:  I give LOTS of technical terms  (trying to summarize a pathology report for the lay person while keeping science terms intact was kinda challenging)

 (but I love it - I am a science nerd)!!!!

- My cancer has been staged as 2B (pT2, pN1, pMX).
- My breast cancer is an aggressive, poorly differentiated, infiltrating mammary carcinoma.  That means it is a nasty, fast growing invasive cancer.  It is also more aggressive than they originally thought. The largest tumor is 3.5 cm, but there were other smaller tumors and the cancer was found throughout the breast.
- From what I can understand my mastectomy specimen (I believe this is the whole right breast) weighed 1800 grams and measured 26.0 x 23.0 cm with a thickness of 6.5 cm.  1800 grams is equal  to about 4 lbs.  So, I think my right boob weighed 4.0 lbs....pretty crazy :)  At least the tissue part of it did.  I did weigh myself before and after surgery and I had lost 8 lbs.
- Metastatic carcinoma was found in both sentinel nodes, but NOT the other 3 lymph nodes.  This hopefully means that it spread to the sentinel nodes (this is where they think breast cancer spreads first before spreading throughout the lymphatic system and the whole body) and has not spread to the other nodes yet....I hope so :)
- Both tumors tested were positive for Estrogen Receptor in 100% of tumor cell nuclei AND one of the tumors tested positive for Progesterone Receptor in 20% of tumor cell nuclei.  This means I am a candidate for hormone therapy.
- Both tumors tested were positive for Ki-67 (cancer antigen found only when cells are growing and dividing) in 30% of tumor cell nuclei, with strong intensity.  This is a very high result.  This means my cancer cells are rapidly growing and dividing.  When the percent is higher than 20% it is considered unfavorable with a poor prognosis.
- Histologic Grade: Poorly differentiated : score 8-9 (this is a very high score)
- Combined Bloom Richardson Score: 8 (means the cancer is poor differentiating)
- In-situ tumor is found ALL over the outer half of breast
- Margins were negative for carcinoma.  This means they got all the cancer out of my chest with the mastectomy.
- The Her-2 results were indeterminate so they are doing another test.  This test result will determine a lot about my chemotherapy plan.
- My surgeon is going to wait to schedule putting in my port until after the treatment plan is finalized. 
- My doctor (again) told me how sorry he was for all this bad news and how he thought was not fair that I had been handed an awful long history of medical issues.  I told him, "It's not your fault...lots of women get breast cancer". [I had read 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer]  He looked at me surprised and said, "Yup, a lot of OLD women!!!".  He went on to tell me that it is common for 70 year old women to get breast cancer, but very uncommon for young women like me to get it. [he called me young....  :)  He said most of his breast cancer patients are elderly.  He also said unfortunately most of the younger women that get breast cancer get the more aggressive forms and the old ladies get the slow growing.

So hopefully that was enough information to satisfy my science-minded friends and not too confusing for those who maybe have other talents :)   It is not very good news.  I was hoping for better, but IT IS WHAT IT IS.  I choose to spend my energy on things I can change.  I choose to not spend my energy on feeling sorry for myself.  Don't get me wrong...I get sad and have my bad moments, even days of yucky.  But, LIFE is TOO SHORT.  I choose to be happy.

My first oncology appointment is this Tuesday morning.  I already have an oncologist in my town that monitors me due to my first cancer (GIST).  I am going to stick with him.  I should find out what the plan is this Tuesday...I think.  I just want to know....as I have said before knowledge is power.

I am feeling pretty o.k. today.  I even went to church for 2 hours this morning to watch my primary kids practice for the primary program.  I am the music leader and they pushed back the performance until November 11th in hopes that I will feel good enough by then to lead them in their performance.  They even called me an assistant to lead the music when I am not feeling good.  So I went today to see how they are doing even though I don't have enough energy to lead them yet.  It was amazing to see their happy faces seeking me out.  I LOVE them...what wonderful medicine for the soul to have 50 kids loving, missing, and singing to you :)

One Week Update & Some of the Tests are In

     It has been one week since I had surgery to remove my right breast.  I had surgery on Thursday morning and everything went well.  I stayed in the hospital overnight and elected to go home early Friday night.  I could have stayed another night - my surgeon said it was completely up to me (he is so nice).  They took great care of me in the hospital, but I was sharing a room and the bed wasn't very comfortable.  I wanted to go home to my cozy bed where I could truly relax and be around my little family.  I was told many times before my surgery that it wasn't a very painful surgery and I had a really hard time believing it.  But, it is true.  It has not been very painful.  Don't get me wrong - there is pain and it is uncomfortable and extremely emotionally disturbing (more on that later), BUT not that painful; especially compared to other surgeries I have had.  The biggest pain comes from the lymph node biopsy.  My armpit and back of my upper arm/shoulder are completely numb.  I have only one drain (I was told I would have 2), but oh my it is the most uncomfortable thing.  It is kinda gross to see fluids draining out of you and to have to empty the drain.  But, the worst part is it hurts and it keeps getting clogged.  Thank goodness that I have a kind husband who is really good at unclogging my drain.  I am hopeful that they will remove it tomorrow at my follow-up appointment with my surgeon.
     Not much had happened since I had my surgery.  I lay around and watch TV (thank you Netflix and Hulu+).  I have gotten on a horrible schedule where I can't sleep at night and I sleep all day.  I am slowly reducing my use of my pain pills.  I have not left my house.  I have worn a nightgown all week, haven't put on makeup or done my hair.  My mom takes great care of me and has been making me yummy food while taking care of my kids and doing all my housework.  My kids have been super sweet, but they are definitely off.  Carlie keeps praying that I can get a new breast soon and Berkeley avoids me a lot.  Carlie has been extra sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.  My husband is so supportive, he is my rock.
     I have not cried at all this past week.  This is super strange since I am quite a cry-baby.  I have teared up a few times, but I am too tired to have a good cry or I am avoiding it (not sure which one it is).
     This past Saturday was the day I was supposed to shower and see my new body.  I avoided it all day and finally mustered up the strength to do it that night.  I sat on a stool in my bathroom for a VERY long time.....I was too afraid to look.  I also felt horribly nauseous and felt like I was going to pass out.  I kicked my husband out of the bathroom and told him I wanted to do it alone. After I sat in the bathroom alone I told him to come back, that I needed him. I finally did do it with the help of my sweet husband.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it is pretty terrible. It didn't feel like I was looking at myself.  I felt removed from my body as if I was looking at someone else. I didn't cry, didn't allow myself to feel anything - just thought I was going to pass out.  I didn't look at myself very long.  I took a quick shower and then I passed out on my bed.
On Wednesday I talked with my surgeon....some of the test results were back.  Here they are:
- All the margins were negative (they cut all of it out)
- He said the mastectomy was the right choice.  He said he couldn't believe how invasive and wide-spread the cancer was.  He can't believe that we couldn't feel the tumor.  He said the tumor on the right side of my breast was 3.5 cm.  He said the DCIS was all over the outer regions of my breast.  He said both tumor regions were invasive.
- They took out 5 lymph nodes (2 of them were sentinel).  There is metastic disease in 2 of them.  This is very bad news.  This means the cancer is spreading beyond my now missing breast.  This part is scary to me.
- He said the tumor did respond the hormones estrogen and progestrone which means I am a candidate for hormone therapy.
- I will be doing chemo for sure.  Not sure what type yet.  They are waiting on the Her-2 results.  The levels of this will determine what type of chemotherapy.
- He said I might have to do radiation too

     I have a follow-up appointment tomorrow with my surgeon.  He said he has copies of all the test results for me and they will set up my first oncology appointment for me where I will find out much more about this crappy road I have found myself on.  I was really hoping that it had not spread to the lymph nodes and that my treatment would be mild, but it looks as if this is not going to be the case.
     Through all my trials in my life I have learned the hard way to not pray for my problems to go away, but to pray for strength to endure them.  I am praying for strength and oh boy I am going to need it.  I like to think of myself as a tough girl who can do anything....but this one is throwing me for a loop.  I am realizing that I can't do it alone. I am kind of angry right now that this is happening and have been trying to avoid the reality of it all.  I have been trying to build up the strength to blog about this all week and I haven't because again I am trying to avoid it.  If I don't think about it or dwell on it then it is not really happening.  So here I am blogging....it is my therapy.  It is making me feel better to process all that I am feeling and all that is happening.

     I need to buy a lot of thank you cards.  Again I am overwhelmed with letters, emails, phone messages, flowers, texts, gifts, banners, cards, care packages, treats, facebook posts/comments, people entertaining my kids, etc.   These gifts; big and small, have been the best medicine.  Thank you so much.....they mean more to me than you can imagine.  I feel loved.
     FYI: I have not felt like having visitors or talking on the phone.  I am slowly coming out of my cave and will start interacting with the world again.  But, until then please do not get your feeling hurt if I have not responded to your message/note/phone call.

 It has been a rough week.  Being faced with my own mortality again is crushing me.  BUT, I saw this quote below today and it spoke to me.  My world might seem to be crumbling, but I am still so blessed.  

I recently was talking to one of my best friends about some of her problems and I told her to say this whenever she is feeling down. "Hey at least my boob isn't being cut off!".  Pretty good advice don't you think?  :)

 Oh and for inquiring minds.....I have lost 8 lbs since my surgery. 

 Not sure how much of that is boob weight, but kinda interesting :)

Love you all - peace out,

The One Boob Wonder

Staying Strong is EXHAUSTING

I was reading a brochure on breast cancer put out by The American Cancer Society.  It talked about how you will deal with breast cancer in your own way.  It said you might feel angry, hurt, confused, scared, tired, or sad. 
I feel TIRED.  I hadn't realized that I felt tired for that reason until I read that.  Then it all made sense.  I am normally a happy, optimistic person who tries to make the best out of things.  I now feel like it is taking an enormous effort on my part to try to remain that optimistic girl.   It is exhausting to be that strong.  But, I still feel it is SUPER important to choose your attitude.  I am also physically tired because I am not sleeping very well at night.  It takes me hours to fall asleep sometimes and then I toss and turn all night.  I am not scared or freaking out, but I think I am anxious and my mind is spinning.  I am also tired because I am having a difficult time with my arthritis right now.  It has been extra hard to motivate myself to do my daily chores and responsibilities too.  oh boy.......
OK - so enough of my complaining.....
I keep reminding myself that it could be way worse.  That my problems are small compared to so many others around the world.  This doesn't make it any less difficult, but it reminds me that I am still a lucky girl and to remember to be grateful for all the great things in my life.

I am grateful that I am able to go on a trip to California for 8 days right before my surgery. (I will get back the night before my surgery)  It will be good for me to focus on having fun with my family and creating memories; instead of feeling sorry for myself and worrying about things too much.

I am grateful that I have lots of supportive friends and family that are willing to sacrifice for me in my time of need.  That they are willing to build me up with kind words, humor, and service.  I appreciate it more than I can adequately express.  It is amazing how much just a sentence or a simple reaching out to me can boost my strength.  

I am grateful that I have a mother and a mother-in-law that are willing to drop everything to come take care of me through this journey.

I am grateful that my sister is organizing a little group to do the breast cancer walk in Salt Lake City on October 13th.  They are calling themselves Team Awesomeness.  Go to this site if you would like more information, or to join the team, or to donate to the American Cancer Society in the team's name.
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?fr_id=47444&pg=team&team_id=1272706
They are either going to put "Supporting the One Boob Wonder" or "Stop Killer Boobs" on their t-shirts.  I think both slogans are great and they make me smile.  I am not sure which one they ended up picking.......

I am grateful that two of my sister-in-laws took me out for a last fun girl's night before my challenges start.  That was very sweet of them to take me out for some good times.

I am grateful that I married a kind-hearted husband who supports me in all my decisions and loves me unconditionally.  He is also having a very hard time with this, but he has been staying strong for me.

And of course I am grateful for my BEAUTIFUL children that can make me smile even on the worst of days.  Thinking about and fulfilling their needs is a very helpful diversion for me.

So, this past week I met with my breast care coordinator and she told me an overwhelming amount of information.
-  My surgery is officially scheduled for Thursday, October 18th.  I am having a simple/complete right breast mastectomy and a sentinel node biopsy.  I will find out on October 16th what my check-in time will be.  My surgery will be about 2 1/2 hours long. 
- I will have two drains that I will have to empty and track the amount of fluid being drained.  She taught me what to do if one rips out.  She taught me how to know when they are ready to be taken out at the doctor's office.  It is sounding like a most unpleasant job.
- I will stay over-night in the hospital.
- I will take the bandages off on Saturday, October 20th.  That will be a hard day....not sure how I feel about this.
- She gave me a seat belt pillow and an underarm pillow.
- She gave me a camisole with a soft breast insert (I don't think it is big enough - maybe I need two).   The camisole also has pockets for my drains. I will not be able to wear a prosthesis for 6-8 weeks until the scar heals.
- She talked me through everything that would happen on my surgery day - nothing too earth shattering in that since I have already endured 12 surgeries - I am a PRO!
- They want me up and moving around a few days after surgery.  She told me that I can request occupational & physical therapy & scar therapy if I want.
- She gave me a bunch of places that specialize in mastectomy bras and prostheses.  I am not too optimistic on finding something that will not make me feel extremely lopsided.
- She gave me more reading material....kinda overwhelming.
- My follow up appointment with the surgeon will be October 30th.  They should have all the pathology reports in by then.
- I will be referred to oncology immediately to figure out my treatment plan.  I already have an oncologist so I will keep the same one.
- She told me I should go see some plastic surgeons for a consult appointment during treatment.  She said women find this to be a fun appointment because if helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel while you are struggling through treatment.
- She told me so much stuff I do not remember it all.  She was really kind and helpful.  I really like her, but I feel like I am on overload.

I also pre-registered at the hospital for my surgery this past week.  I also got a chest x-ray & blood work done.  I have all my pre-surgery stuff done.  It still does not feel real that this is happening to me though.  This is not like any surgery or health problem I have had before.  This is the hardest one yet and it has just begun.

So please, keep praying and sending me lots of good & powerful vibes.

MRI Results

Here are ALL the details:

I had an MRI scheduled for this past Tuesday at 6:30 am.  Apparently they did not get the memo that I am NOT a morning person.  So I got up at the crack of dawn for my appointment.  I arrived on time (so proud of myself) and they tell me that they can't find my orders so they can't do the MRI.  I proceed to tell them that they called me to make the appointment so they must have the orders.  They looked some more - can't find them.  They tell me that all the people that could figure this paperwork problem out did not get in until 8 am.  Seriously???  I got up that early for nothing?  They then sent the MRI tech out to talk to me.  He said he would get to the bottom of it and make sure he fit my MRI in later that day.  He could tell I was not pleased (though I was being really nice) so he gave me a card for a free breakfast in the hospital cafe.  I went and pigged out on the hospital's dime and then went home.  Right before I arrived at home they called & said the paperwork was found and asked if I could make a 9 am appointment.  So I turned right back around for my MRI.  This was not like any MRI I have had before.  I laid on my stomach and my breasts hung down through 2 holes.  I had an IV for the contrast.  The MRI itself was pretty non-eventful though.  It only took 4 hours to get a 45 minute test complete.  Oh well...  When I got home I tried to go back to my normal do to stuff, but I felt yucky.  I felt like I do after my CAT scans.  The contrast doesn't make me full-on sick, but I felt bad enough that all I wanted to do was nap and lay around all day....so I did (thanks mom).

By Tuesday evening the breast surgeon's scheduler was already calling me to schedule an appointment to discuss the MRI.   We played phone tag - got a hold of him Wednesday morning. We couldn't find a time since I was going out of town this week and the doctor was going out of town for 3 weeks starting this weekend.  We were going to have to delay the surgery - I did NOT want to do that.  Finally, I asked if there were any cancellations for that day - he found one -HOORAY!

Corey & I met with the breast surgeon and breast care coordinator.
  Here are the details from the MRI:
- They found NO cancer in my left breast
- There were NO swollen lymph nodes - this is very good news.  This does not mean for sure that the cancer hasn't spread beyond my breast, but it is a good sign.
- The cancer is all over my right breast, but there were two major areas of concern on the MRI.  It is classified as a ACR category six known malignancy.  There was an extensive area of enhancement that stretched from near the chest wall all the way to the nipple.  It measured 13 x 4 x 7.2 cm in size.  There was another area of the right breast that was showing a similar enhancement worrisome for tumor that measured 2.9 x 2.4 x 1.8 cm.  There are many other smaller areas of enhancement that all measure less than 1.0 cm scattered around the breast.
- There is a 2.2 cm lesion in my liver (I already knew about this from previous CT scans) that they believe is a cyst.  It has not grown since my last CT scan back in January.
- I still have a post-biopsy related hematoma measuring 2.4 cm in diameter.  (no wonder my breast is still swollen and sore)
Here is the plan:
- I am scheduled for a total right breast mastectomy on October 18th.  They believe this is really my only option.  The cancer is too widespread and dangerous.  Apparently the recovery for this surgery is only 2-3 weeks.  All of the pathology reports will be back about 2 weeks after my surgery.  At this time we can make a plan for treatment.
- I told him of my long time desire to get a breast reduction.  I currently wear a size 34I or J.  Before I had kids I was a 32D (much more reasonable).  They are ridiculously large.  I have horrible back issues and know that reducing the size will help my back pain.  He told me the best avenue is to do the reduction on the left breast AFTER all my treatments are over.  I will most likely start the breast reconstruction surgeries (usually takes 4 surgeries) on my right breast at the same time as the breast reduction.  It will be a long hard road.  They said the mastectomy is nothing compared to the breast reconstruction surgeries.
- I am not happy about how lopsided I will be for awhile.  This will not be fun.  But, I am EXTREMELY curious how much weight I will lose from chopping off one of the ladies.  I know I am morbid.

I can't even believe how much response I have gotten to this recent announcement of mine.  It is truly wonderful to feel so loved.
Thank you for all the support - prayers- offers of help - good vibes - and jokes (laughter is truly my favorite medicine).

As in the words of one of my friends; I will truly be a One-Boob Wonder :)

Love you ALL!!!!

Cancer #2...Boo to Cancer!!!

I am not a private person.  I do not tell this story to be dramatic or make people feel sorry for me.  I tell it so everyone who cares about me can be informed.  Information is power!  So here is the story so far.......

Well, I went to my Ob-Gyn back in January for the yearly visit and he ordered my first mammogram.  I am in my 40's now so time to start getting mammograms.  I was not thrilled about it because I have heard women complain about how uncomfortable it is or painful.  So I kinda forgot about it for awhile.  Back in August I remembered I needed to go get one so I scheduled it.
On August 28th I had my first mammogram.  HELLO - why do women complain about it??  It was not a big deal at all......SERIOUSLY!!
A few days later I got called back for a 2nd mammogram.  They said this is pretty standard to be called back for a 2nd one - especially when it was your very first one ever.  They said not to worry - so I did not worry.  So they took some magnified scans of my right breast a week later on September 5th.
Then they called me 2 days later to schedule a biopsy.  They said there were "areas of concern".  But, again they said not to worry.  They said about 80% of the time the biopsies come back with no problems.  So I did not worry too much.

I showed up on September 12th for my biopsy.  I found out that they were going to do two biopsies - fun for me!!  Anyways, the biopsy itself wasn't painful at all, BUT I had to lay on this SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE table on my stomach with my boobs hanging through this hole for 1 1/2 hours.  Seriously, the biopsy didn't hurt, but I have scoliosis and arthritis in my hip & spine and it was so awful laying in the same position for that long.  The bed was hard and too short for my LONG body.  My head was hanging off the table too so by the time it was over my neck was dying.  I am pretty sure a MAN invented this table.  No woman would have designed such an uncomfortable thing.
Of course my luck I was a bleeder (not the normal) and I developed a hematoma.  By the time I got home my right breast was super swollen and all bruised up.  Normally after a breast biopsy you recover really quickly.  They told me unfortunately that I was going to be hurting for awhile.  It definitely wasn't the worst pain I have experienced, but it was super annoying and sore.  Then, it got even better!!  I developed a nasty rash over the incision sites.  It was TERRIBLE.  Oh man....no fun.
The biopsy was on a Wednesday and they told me that I would maybe have the results on Friday, but for sure by Monday/Tuesday.

On Friday I missed a call from my doctor.  She left a message saying to hurry and call her back because she was leaving early that day and wouldn't be able to talk to me until Monday.  So I called back and of course I had missed her.  But, she left this cryptic message for me to dwell on all weekend. "She wanted you to know you were being referred for surgery and she will call you back first thing on Monday."  AAAAARRGGHHH!!!  Are you serious?  It would have been better to just wait until Monday to talk to me.  I was not impressed with this poor communication by my doctor.  So I worried a little all weekend.  On Monday, September 17th  I finally talked with my doctor while I was in the middle of a grocery store.  She told me the biopsy came back as cancer and I was being referred to a breast surgeon.  That is all she had for me.  I at least had the sense to ask her what type of cancer and she said DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ).  I walked around Winco in a daze and finished my grocery shopping.  I held it together...I was proud of myself.  I went home and I did some research.  It didn't seem too bad.  They had caught it early.

I immediately was scheduled to meet with the breast surgeon 2 days later on September 19th (my daughters birthday) to get the whole picture.
Corey and I met with the breast surgeon for about an hour, then the breast care coordinator for another hour, then to the lab for some bloodwork  Here are some of the details:
- DCIS is when the cancer is still contained in the milk ducts - this is good news.
- They showed me the scans and showed me ALL the areas I had DCIS.....they were ALL over my right breast.  It was pretty overwhelming to see all the areas.  It seemed as if the cancer was in every single milk duct.
- The biopsy showed that I had a micro-invasion.  This meant that in the area of the biopsy the cancer cells were starting to leave the milk ducts.
- Basically, because it is all over they are recommending a mastectomy with a sentinel lymph node biopsy.  They said if they did a lumpectomy I would have a grossly misshapen breast and they most likely would not be able to get all the cancer out.  They need the lymph node biopsy to make sure the cancer has not spread past my breast.
- I have a tentative surgery date of October 18th.  I was happy he was going to be out of town until the 17th because we are taking a trip to Disneyland and Newport Beach and we get back the 17th.  I was really worried he would make me cancel my trip.  He told me that even if he was in town he would have made me go on the trip.  He said that was a perfect thing to do since the next year of my life was going to be a long, hard journey.
- I will need a MRI to rule out cancer in the left breast and for surgical planning.  The MRI will happen sometime this next week.
- They do NOT know what my treatment plan will be until after the surgery.  They will use the pathology report from the surgery to decide this.  There are so many types of breast cancer and each one has a different protocol.  They did say they think chemotherapy is very likely in my case.
- As long as the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes I have a 99% survival rate.
- They told me I am poster child of why you should start getting mammograms at age 40.  The people that say you should wait until you are 50 are MORONS.  So ladies....GET YOUR MAMMOGRAMS.  Think of what would have happened to me if I had waited any longer!!!!

I have been so busy this past week with my daughter's 8th birthday and baptism that I have not really had time to think about this or really process it.   It does not seem real.  I have not freaked out or cried too much yet.  The thing I have cried about the most is the fact I will not be able to lead my primary kids in the primary program next month (sorry non-LDS friends if this doesn't make sense - I have been teaching the kids ages 3-11 at my church 10 songs all year and they will perform them in front of our whole congregation in October).  I will not even be able to see it because it is 10 days after my surgery.  I put my heart and soul into teaching those songs all year and I am extremely sad I will not see it through.  How silly that I am more sad about that than having cancer again & getting one of my boobs cut off.  I am ridiculous :)

Before this blog post I had only informed immediate family members of this news.  I am now ready for it to be public.  I will fight this stupid cancer and win again.  I will need as many prayers, good vibes, happy thoughts, and support that I can get.  So please send it my way.  I am blessed that I have such a loving family that is willing to drop everything and come help me.  I am REALLY bad about asking for help, but I know I will need it. 
I will try to keep people updated through Facebook and my blog so check back.....

My Favorite Rolls

 I got this recipe from my sister years ago and they are by far my FAVORITE roll.  I make them all the time not only due to my own bread addiction, but my whole family gobbles these rolls up.

2 Tbsp yeast
2 cups warm water (105-115 degrees F)
1/3 cup softened butter
2 tsp salt
1/3 c. + half of 1/3 c. of sugar
1 egg
2/3 cup dry milk
5-6 cups of flour
*** extra butter needed later in the recipe

Mix all ingredients (only 2 cups of flour) with a fork.  Let sit for 5 minutes.  Add the rest of the flour one cup at a time.  Knead with hands. Let rise until doubled (usually 1 hour).  Punch, cut in half, roll out in a circle, coat with softened butter, cut like a pie until you have 16 pieces.  Roll like croissants.  Put on cookie sheet and let them rise again for 1 hour - 1 hour 20 minutes.  Cook at 350 degrees F for 10-15 minutes or golden brown.  Brush rolls with melted butter.  Recipe makes 32 rolls.

WARNING:  Do not make these if you are on a diet. 

 You can't eat only one :)